Achieving Balance in Self-Esteem
Self-esteem, the foundation of our self-perception, shapes the lens through which we view ourselves and navigate the world. It’s an equilibrium that can swing towards either confidence or insecurity, influencing every aspect of our lives. Rather than the polarizing status quo of high vs. low self-esteem, this article offers a more balanced perspective of esteem, which includes three states: inflated, deflated, and equated self-esteem.
At one end lies inflated self-esteem, characterized by an exaggerated sense of self-importance and an overestimation of one's abilities. Often mistaken for confidence, this state can breed arrogance, entitlement, and a disregard for others' perspectives. Individuals with inflated self-esteem may struggle with empathy and constructive criticism, hindering their personal growth and fostering shallow relationships built on admiration rather than genuine connection.
Conversely, deflated self-esteem plunges individuals into a cycle of self-doubt, worthlessness, and inadequacy. Burdened by negative self-talk and feelings of inferiority, those with low self-esteem may shy away from challenges, relationships, and opportunities, convinced of their impending failure. This state can be debilitating, robbing individuals of their agency and joy as they navigate a world clouded by self-imposed limitations.
Yet, between the extremes lies equated self-esteem— a balanced state of self-assessment. Here, individuals acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses without distortion of ego or self-loathing. They can recognize their own unique intelligence and potential for contribution while appreciating these same qualities in others. They can recognize themselves as one of the gang. Pursuing an equated esteem may reduce the frequency of evaluations that inflate and exaggerate an individual’s sense of self-worth or deflate and diminish it.
Why, then, does the pendulum of self-assessment swing individuals towards either high - inflated or low - deflated esteem states? Partly, it's the allure of extremes—the false promise of invincibility or the safety of self-imposed constraints.
In a world where boastfulness is mistaken for confidence and vulnerability is seen as weakness, wearing the mask like those in a high - inflated or low - deflated esteem state may seem like a path to acceptance and fulfillment.
However, real acceptance and true fulfillment lies in the middle ground. By cultivating equated self-esteem (Link here), individuals can navigate life's complexities with humility and authenticity. It's time to shift the narrative away from polarizing extremes and toward a more nuanced understanding of self-esteem—one that applauds vulnerability and embraces our humanity. From this standpoint, all possess a unique intelligence, and all have a unique potential for contribution.
Disclaimer: The content on this site is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. For personalized assistance, please consult with a qualified mental health professional. If you are experiencing a crisis or emergency, please seek immediate assistance from your local emergency services or contact a crisis hotline.